Over the years, my appreciation for her grew. Her honesty, sincerity and directness were mature beyond her years. I knew that within this child lived a very giving and compassionate adult. Still, I lived in the fear that someday, when I had to step in and be a disciplinarian, I might have it thrown in my face that I wasn't her“real”father. If I wasn't real, why would she have to listen to me?My actions became measured. I was probably more lenient than I wanted to be. I acted in that way in order to be liked, all the time living out a role I felt I had to live-thinking I wasn't good enough or worthy enough on my own terms.